Hello Beautiful Souls,
I have a simple self-love ritual for you today. Valentine’s day is just around the corner, and I know that this holiday can be quite depressing for many people. Though it really shouldn’t be. Let’s talk about why.
Do you know the history of this holiday, when it started, and how it became what it is today? Well if you don’t already know, then I’m quite sure it’s not what you think. Its origins are dark and bloody.
The ancient Romans celebrated Lupercalia, a feast held from the 13th of Feb to the 15th. It was traditional to sacrifice goats and dogs and then whip women with the hides. These women would line up to have the men hit them. Seems to me this is possible that the term we use today “he hit on me” could come from the practices of this festival. The women believed it could make them fertile. This festival would include a matchmaking lottery where young men would draw the names of the girls from a jar and they would be paired up for the duration of the festival. It was common to drink throughout the entire festival.
Emperor Claudius II executed two men (both named Valentine) on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day. Hence where we get the name of this holiday.
The holiday was romanticized by Shakespeare in his work and it gained popularity throughout Britain and Europe. Letters and handmade cards became the favored way of expressing one’s affections in the middle ages. This tradition made its way to America and the industrial revolution introduced factory-made cards in the 19th century.
It’s important to note how commercialized this holiday is today, making over 17 billion last year and that number growing each year. Please consider to stop buying into this holiday and start practicing the point that this holiday reflects today, which is that of love. Love yourself daily. This will overflow to your partner and the people you care most about. To be able to show genuine love and gratitude for yourself is harder than you may imagine. No gift you could buy can express how invaluable someone is to you. Gifts are always a nice gesture, but if it’s going to break your bank account or be an expected situation from your partner it devalues the purpose.
Your actions speak louder than words. When did you last show yourself some love? I’m not talking about the overshared practices of self-care we see everywhere today, which are totally valid, but I’m talking on a deeper spiritual level. It really starts from deep within, to be introspective and really contemplate how much you love yourself and how happy you truly are with yourself. What about the relationship with your partner? Have you grown complacent with them? Do you only do things for birthdays, anniversaries or holidays? What could you do to express your gratitude and appreciation for yourself and your partner?
This day is heavily focused on marketing towards couples, primarily men buying gifts for women and it shouldn’t be that way. We need to shift the focus to universal and unconditional love for everyone. It kind of bothers me that the rebellion is Galentine’s day or singles awareness day. I think that’s just a negative way to view it. It’s all geared to exclude someone. If it were focused to show love to everyone, your family, your friends, yourself, the planet, there would be a very different emotional response in the collective towards this holiday. This change starts with you. The holiday is like it is today because people keep perpetuating it into a mandatory gift giving holiday. Let’s shift the focus from buying to being. Being present with yourself, being present with the ones you love, being in the moment and enjoying the time spent, not the money. Let’s move away from buying overpriced roses, to planting flowers that will grow for a whole season or throughout most of the year.
How do you feel around this holiday whether you’re single or not? You should feel good and secure, feeling love and not the feeling of being lonely.
So let me take you through a simple ritual you can do for yourself.
Ritual supplies:
Pink or green small candle (heart chakra colors)
Rose quartz (unconditional love) or rhodonite (emotional healing)
Paper and pen
An Affirmation like these –
-My life is a gift. I will use this gift with confidence, joy, and exuberance.
-I am worthy of love and joy.
-I am healthy, well-groomed and confident. My inner peace and harmony are matched by my outer well-being.
This ritual you can do with or without the items. I wouldn’t want you to skip doing this because you don’t have the items. They are just helpful tools if you have them.
Take some time to be alone with yourself today. Have a nice shower or bath. Use any herbs of your choice you have on hand to smudge yourself, to cleanse your energy. Sage, lavender rosemary, mugwort, etc. all work well.
Take your pen and paper and write down any of the affirmations that I’ve provided or find one that better resonates with you. Light the candle and focus on the flame, hold your crystal and repeat the affirmation out loud if possible, taking long deep breaths in between each time you say it, then meditate for at least 30min. Let your candle burn down or snuff it out to meditate with it at a later time. Carry your crystal with you, as a reminder of your commitment to your self-love. Place the affirmation on your nightstand or altar until you really believe it to be settled in your mindset.
Be well on your journey.
~Shara
